Is fear controlling your life and stopping you from being all that you are?
…stopping you from becoming your next level you?
Maybe you have a goal that you’ve been trying to attain, a dream that you want to turn into reality but you just can’t seem to make it happen because on some level you just keep self-sabotaging
…not doing what you KNOW you should
Not taking the next step
Starting, but never quite finishing and seeing it through…
Well, I have a question for you…have you ever been really scared to do something in the past?
The answer is most likely yes.
And did you overcome it?
Because we all have things that we once feared but that we did.
…like driving for the first time
…meeting your now partner for your first ever date….
…starting a new job
….even starting school!
And if the 5-year-old you can face her or his fears, then the older, wiser you definitely can – it’s just that we so often underestimate ourselves, our abilities, our strength…
So before we look at exactly how to overcome your fears, ask yourself the following questions:
What is fear costing you?
What is fear stopping you from achieving in your life?
…having your dream business or career
…meeting the ‘one’
…having your ideal body
…having great relationships
…being truly happy
Living your grandest version of yourself – the self that’s inside of you, screaming to be unleashed on the world?
It’s important to recognise how much fear is affecting your life because only then, do people do something about it.
Ok, so here’s the key for you to stop allowing fear to hold you back, (although I warn it’s not pretty)
In fact, it’s damn right uncomfortable….(at first!) because it involves taking ACTION on the very thing that you fear.
Are you ready?
How to overcome your fear:
- You have to do the action you fear OVER, OVER and OVER again.
- AND You have to leave as LITTLE amount of time between each action as possible
For example, you’re scared of public speaking, so you do three talks a day every single day for a week, for as long as it takes.
You’re scared of driving after a car accident (that was me), you have to get in your car and drive up and down, up and down, multiple times a day, every single day until the fear erodes.
It’s pretty simple actually…
And the funny thing is, it doesn’t actually take as long as you’d think. After a few hours driving up and down the motorway, my fear was pretty much gone. So it’s not that you have to endure fear and discomfort for long periods, often a few hours of doing something, or sometimes a few days (depending on what it is) and your fear begins to erode.
It’s just that it’s not very pleasant at first, so most people don’t do it.
In fact, most people don’t do it until the pain of not doing it is bigger than the pain of actually doing it.
(Hey, its human nature).
But the more you do something, the less you feel scared to do it.
And remember, the quicker you can start, the quicker you will reach your goals and dreams.
(P.S. I didn’t just make this up, this is something psychologists use!)
BUT don’t forget it’s not just about doing it over and over again – the frequency, it’s also about the gaps of time in between the frequency.
The amount of time you leave in between doing something is so important.
It’s no good to start doing public speaking engagements once a week if this is your fear – you’ll most likely still be scared of them! Instead, you need to do them every single day, multiple times if possible.
Repeat the action as often as you can and with as little gaps in between.
The same technique helped me to get over my fear of motorways following a high-speed accident with a lorry. I literally drove up and down the motorway as many times as I could (yep, on the same day). And then some the next day…until I just wasn’t scared of driving on the motorway anymore.
The more you do something, with the smaller amounts of time in the middle, the more you reduce your fear until it’s pretty much gone.
It starts off horrible, uncomfortable, scary BUT after, it’s so exhilarating, so freeing, you realise how much fear has been holding you back and it’s what’s necessary to achieve true growth.
And the thing is, this isn’t only about achieving smaller goals like me driving down a motorway, this determines our entire lives.
Because often we don’t become who we should be because we’re just too scared.
Too scared to follow our passions, our dreams, to put ourselves out there, to make mistakes, instead we choose to play it safe, while all the while, the dissatisfaction, the inner failure we’re causing ourselves by not even trying takes its toll on us.
Most people fail before they even begin, they cause themselves to fail by not properly trying, they’re already defeated.
But here’s the thing to realise, overcoming your fear is NOT optional, its a NECESSITY.
Yes, we might temporarily be able to fool ourselves that it is optional but it’s simply not true…
Because as long as you keep ignoring what you know you should do, like an important life change, or to follow your true calling, it won’t go away, (well it might temporarily) BUT it will keep popping up periodically in the form of increased dissatisfaction of your life and it will get more and more intense until the pain is greater than your fear and you say enough, is, enough.
Let’s do this.
So, are you ready to bite the bullet and face your fears?