Dealing With Negative Self-Talk

I was reading through the comments on one of our posts and I saw somebody mention about how they have a habit of putting themselves down. 

And funnily enough. I also was having a conversation with a good friend the other day about us being our own worst critic.

So I thought it’d be good to speak about this today.

Because for so many of us, our default pattern is to criticise ourselves.

To judge ourselves and to pick our faults more than our achievements.

It’s a common thing that we all do unless you’ve actively worked on yourself and changed this habit because that’s what it is…

It’s a habit.

And as we know, all habits are created by ourselves, and therefore we can change them to anything we want.

This default behaviour or default habit has been conditioned throughout our life.

And so the mind tends to naturally (if left alone) focus more on the negative than the positive.

And this ultimately determines our perception of our lives and the world.

How many times do you pick fault with yourself?

Start to become mindful of how many times you criticise yourself.

This is something that Lucy and I actively have worked on and still work on, it’s so easy pick fault, especially when you are always striving to be better.

And because we’re always working on improving ourselves, it becomes very easy to forget how far you’ve come, how much change has actually happened, how much you’ve grown.

And that can perpetuate the self-critical thoughts.

But I know that if you’re here, reading this, then you’re somebody who works on themselves.

You don’t see how far you’ve come because you live with yourself every day.

You don’t realise the dramatic change.

For instance, if somebody was on a diet trying to lose weight, they look at themselves in the mirror every single day and therefore won’t necessarily see how much weight they’ve lost.

But then to somebody who hasn’t seen them for that period of time will see a radical difference. 

And it’s the same kind of thing for our achievements and our growth.

Because we live with ourselves every day, we’re with ourselves every day, we don’t recognise it. Our mind doesn’t automatically focus on what we’ve achieved, so we don’t see how far we’ve come. 

It’s so important to become mindful of how much you put yourself down, how much negative self-talk you have towards yourself, to recognise it. Because only then can you change it.

And it might start to become annoying the more you realise you do it because you start to realise you do it quite a bit – and then you’re constantly having to correct yourself but it’s important to do because you’ve got to break that habit.

You HAVE to break it..because it doesn’t do you any favours.

It just hinders you from progressing in your life and seeing your own progress.

A great way to do this is to start to journal.

It’s important to keep a journal for a lot of things but start to write down your achievements, the things you’ve learned, your growth or how you might have changed a belief system, how you might not react a certain way anymore to situations.

How you might be feeling different these days, how you’ve created a new habit.

Whatever it might be – just jot it down

Because you NEED something to refer to on a regular basis (like a journal) so you can see the progress you’ve made.

And you will be surprised at how much progress and growth you make on a regular basis and how much you forget, so start to write it down.

And secondly, it will start to rewire and recondition your mind.

It will refocus your mind on all of the positives in your life, rather than focusing on the negative side of things.

It will also automatically start to raise your confidence.

You’ll start to realise all of your achievements.

You will start to increase your happiness because you’ll start to see and reinforce on a regular basis that in actual fact you are moving forward – you are growing
and this is what we want in life – growth.

Because if you’re not growing in life, you feel stuck.

A huge sense of happiness comes from us growing and becoming closer to and in tune with who we are and who we want to become, so write it down, record it..whatever your method may be.

This is a life-changing habit to adopt into your life because you will finally start to focus on what you do well, to finally stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down which so many people do by default.

But you have to take ACTION.

Because you don’t deserve to talk to yourself like that or think about yourself like that.

You’re better than that.

You’re worth more than that.

But you have to take action, inspired action.

And realise that you are the master of your own life.

And you alone shape it to whatever you want it to be.

See we go through life not realising the true power we have with the ability to condition ourselves, how we can rewrite our habits and belief systems.

We can transform our lives into whatever we want them to be.

Nothing is set in stone.

And we shouldn’t beat ourselves up because we were never aware that we had this power, we weren’t aware that we were conditioning ourselves automatically.

But now we do.

And now have the power to be able to change it.

So don’t ever feel that you’re trapped in a situation because everything is temporary.

Even if you don’t have all the answers you can start to take action and take small steps.

Because there isn’t a miracle cure, it’s an everyday journey that we take which becomes a lifestyle.

And it’s so satisfying to work on yourself and progress and to take your power back, to get out of the victim mentality that other people cause you issues when in actual fact it’s our own perceptions and our own reactions to that.

So, realise that you don’t have to put yourself down by default.

And when we actively focus on the things we have achieved and the growth we have made…we soon realise just how far we’ve come and how far we’re going,

So remember…

It’s all just a perception so if you can just work on changing that perception and teaching the mind what you WANT to focus on and not what you don’t want to focus on then you’ll feel a renewed sense of satisfaction, confidence and motivation.

And finally, remember…

You’ve come so far, so NEVER take that away from your progress.

Don’t put yourself down because you are better than that.

You’re worth more than that.

And you are the only person who can truly treat yourself right. And if you’re not going to treat yourself right then that’s the energy you’re going to give out into the universe.

So you MUST have unconditional love for yourself, (that’s separate from the ego), faith that you are where you’re meant to be, that there is a process and it’s preparing you for where you are going.

And it’s okay to be in whatever situation you are in as long as you start to take action to do something about it.

Have a blessed day PEACE. 🙏

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