Does it feel like it’s taking you forever to create the life you know you were destined for?
To hit those goals….
To actually make those dreams come true?
You know you need to get out of your own way and just get on with it but you just can’t seem to….
Or maybe you DO get on with it…but somewhere along the way you lose your focus, your drive
…maybe you make a few mistakes and it totally throws you off your game.
Or maybe you never even get started in the first place.
You have a dream, a goal, you think you have the will power to push it into fruition but something…something just keeps stopping you before it manifests into actual material reality.
The thing is this…
Most people aren’t even aware that they are self-sabotaging themselves.
But by simply bringing awareness to your self-sabotaging behaviours you can begin to break them
Because all they really are is negative behaviours
But don’t take them lightly.
…these negative behaviours are robbing you!
They are robbing you from manifesting your dreams and creating the life that you were supposed to be living.
…but that’s not all they are.
As with everything in life.
They are also a lesson.
A lesson to own your shit. To break out of the illusion you are trapping yourself in. To hold yourself accountable. And to do something about it that will create a different result – the result that you WANT!
Now, rewind a little…
This is going to take a little work…
First, you need to notice HOW you self-sabotaging yourself in life…
Do you take ages to get things finished?
….do you try to perfect everything down to a tea and still nothing ever feels quite good enough?
Do you spend all of your money when you know you don’t really have it to spend
….or do commit acts that completely derail things in your life…
…like causing arguments to push people away before they can hurt you….
Or avoiding doing the things you committed to…rationalising it with excuses like you’re too busy, you’ll do it tomorrow…(which of course never comes)…
When you can notice your self-sabotaging behaviours you can begin to STOP yourself in the act and take OWNERSHIP…rather than being vaguely aware but choosing to ignore them…which will only continue to lead to the same result
…the result of you not achieving what you want to achieve.
Let’s take it a step deeper….
WHY are you self-sabotaging?
In short, everything you do in life is to prove who you think you are.
You identify as an honest person, so you don’t lie or steal. Robbing something would never occur to you because it’s not who you are. Yet to someone else – a thief, this is their reality, this is who they are.
You identify as someone who’s fit and healthy, so you regularly exercise and eat well. Being out of shape is not who you are. It’s not in your scope of reality, therefore, you will probably never be enormously out of shape.
Roll with this for a minute.
Take the example….
You have low self-esteem, you believe that you aren’t good enough (on a subconscious level). Therefore you don’t hit your goals….because, well, you aren’t good enough to hit goals (according to you, because WHATEVER you believe IS your reality, therefore, you WILL bring it into your life).
You believe that romantic love interests will hurt you. Therefore you avoid romantic relationships or stop them before they’ve had a chance to flourish into anything good because you know that they will only bring you pain.
We all have subconscious beliefs that we feed ourselves with
….they may be based on past experiences such as directly having the experience of a being treated badly by a partner, or it may be as seemingly small as not feeling good enough as a child which then spirals into a belief and created your whole reality going forward.
It takes a little digging to get to the root of your self-sabotaging acts…but keep questioning yourself and the answers WILL come
So take a journal and reflect.
What is your goal? – or what have your past unfulfilled goals been?
What behaviours do you do that stops you from reaching your goals?
What belief are you holding onto?
When you shine light onto your false beliefs you are able to begin to release them.
….whatever your beliefs or whatever self-sabotaging acts that you commit, they all have ONE thing in common.
All self-sabotage is a form of FEAR
The thing is people can be quick to reject the idea of fear.
Because fear is not always obvious.
When we have buried our fears, buried our emotions for so long, they get twisted, confused until its hard to decipher them…
….we just know that we feel icky, uncomfortable, bad….but we can’t quite put our finger on what that emotion is.
But the simplest way to think about it is this…
All negative emotions, whether warranted or not come from a base of fear.
And all positive emotions come from love.
So think, in any given moment, are you acting in love or fear?
Any moment you are about to bail on your commitment to reach your goal, are you acting from low, negative, fearful emotions OR are you acting from your highest place of love?
The more you can understand yourself, your emotions, your behaviours, the better you recognise self-sabotage and hit your goals.
Rather than getting lost in them and feeling like a complete failure.
Which I think we all can have a tendency to do when things aren’t working out…
But self-awareness changes all of that.
It’s like a magic pill where suddenly, everything seems possible again because at the end of the day, the more self-aware you are, the better the relationship you have with yourself.
And that, friend, is the most IMPORTANT relationship you have in life.
So acknowledge what it is your brain/body is trying to tell you?
Recognise the fear BUT act in spite of it.
Which is a necessity because the fear will never truly go
…..we are human after all, it’s our built-in survival mechanism!
But we aren’t living with the same daily dangers that people prehistorically lived with
….so we must learn to make the rational decision between what is an actual physical threat and what is an illusion of the mind.
And then, push through the fear.
Because only by pushing through your fears, each and every time will you reach that next level of your life.
And each time you are aspiring for the next, and the next level, you will be required to push through a new level of fear.
It never stops. You just learn to be more courageous.
You’ll always be learning.
We all are.